Saturday, September 01, 2001

sometimes being a parent is weird. I was playing scrabble with my oldest. His brothers were in bed his mom had sacked out long ago with a migraine. He actually picked up all his toys(and some of his brothers too!!!) so he got to pick the game we played. At six he loves words. loves reading, loves playing with words. Loves scrabble. we never play for points. just till we run out of tiles.

Today I legitimately got squirrel stretching between two triple word scores. A feat that would have thrilled me if I had been playing for points. Instead I remember a moment when he was just over two. He revealed a somewhat bloodthirsty side. I now realize that it is just normal for two year olds. at least for my two year olds.

Driving in my old pickup when a squirrel crosses the road in front of us.
"PAPA!!!! Quish that QUIRREL!!"
"No, it would kill the squirrel"
"I know! I WANT to kill the quirrel!"

I think he's out grown it. At least he knows not to talk about it anymore.

Friday, August 24, 2001

This morning on the ride to work, I have never missed my caddy more. For those of you who don't know I once had a 1970 Caddilac Coupe De Ville. It was huge. It had a high compression pre emissions control 472 cubic inch engine. It put out 470 horsepower and 525 foot lbs of torque. It was 400 pounds heavier than my dad's suburban and eight inches longer. It was red with a white top. It had a white leather bench seat. It would do donuts on dry pavement. It refused to run on anything less that 104 octane fuel. when you rolled rolled all the power windows down there was no pillar from the windshield to the rear window. You could fit eight bodies in the trunk with out sectioning them first.

It was a mighty big car.

It was the ultimate good weather windows down stereo cranked get it out of your system car. There is an exit from the free way not too far from my house that I once took at well over 60 miles an hour with the foot down and the car in full float sideways mode. just to see if you could do it like Hunter Thompson says. You can. If you've got balls.

This morning the weather was PERFECT. the radio was on. I'd just had sex. The new butthole surfer's tune came on the radio. I flipped the volume all the way to the right. The problem was that the little pontiac sunbird that I drive lately was just insufficient to express my joy at being alive.

Oh well .

on another note this morning before I left for work I made a playlist of music to play in the morning when I get up to help set my attitude in the right direction.

the current list:

Hank Williams, Sr. - Hey Good Looking.mp3
Levellers - captains courageous.mp3
Thethe - Perfect.mp3
Fred Eaglesmith - Mighty Big Car.mp3
Levellers - One Way.mp3
My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult - Sex On Wheels.mp3
I mother earth - One More Astronaut.mp3
Levellers - The Boatman.mp3
Blue Rodeo - Diamond Mine.mp3
Northern Pikes - Kiss Me You Fool.mp3
Pixies - Surfer Rosa - 01 - Bone Machine.mp3
Fred Eaglesmith - Seven Shells.mp3
Screaming Blue Messiahs - gun03 Smash the Market Place.mp3
Levellers - Carry Me.mp3

It may date me but there it is.

Saturday, August 18, 2001

today the theme is heroes. what makes a person a hero? that's pretty easy for me to picture in my head but hard for me to describe. I am going to tell three true stories from the news. two of the stories are from the local news and one is about somebody I know and miss cause he's far away. Two are stories of heroes and one is not. I sort which is which at the end.

Story A:

A volunteer fireman goes back into a burning house after rescuing a family. In his haste to return and look for hot spots he refuses to take the self contained Breathing apparatus that is offered to him(by his own father!!). He, not surprisingly, succumbs to the almost complete lack of oxygen. the newspaper hails him as a great hero who died valiantly saving other's lives.



Story B:

A guy Drives into the ambulance parking of the local VA hospital and shoots the attendant who says "Hey you can't park here!". He gets out of the car with the gun and as he tries to get into the E.R. is confronted By a volunteer patient van driver who take two or three slugs in a successful attempt to wrest the gun from him. Then a record clerk who was trying to render some aid to the van driver and took the worst of the injuries, several deep stab wounds from a knife. The assailant the fled to his car and took off. While the police were tracking the plate he called 911 to turn himself in and report that he was suicidal.



Story C:

After locking up the retail establishment where he works(sort of like getting hit with a fire hose for eight hours), a twin engine plane crashes into the very highway he is driving on. He stops, gets out of the car and hops the embankment, scambles down to where the plane is. He tries to open the hatch, tries in broken Spanglish to calm the woman who is trapped inside as a passenger. Eventually he clears all the glass out of one of the windows, climbs in and forces the hatch from the inside.






Okay boys and girls, here is the secret hero decoder ring:




Story A------ not a hero, a natural thinning of the herd. in spite of the enormous outpouring of support that has been forthcoming, this guy is just a garden variety moron who exercised bad judgement and died because of it. he not only didn't he die while saving people he endangered two more firefighter who had to go in and get his sorry ass and left a family behind.

Story B------ heroes Galore here. It might be a stretch to call the parking attendant a hero as he was really more of an innocent bystander but, he did take a bullet in the line of duty and that has to count for something. The volunteer van driver, definitely a hero. Records clerk, yup, definitely a hero. And behind the scenes there were the people the news left out. The E.R. crew and surgeons who stitched the three injured folks back together while worrying that the nutjob would be back to finish the job, probably should count too.

Story C------Hero. Hell Yeah. Me surprised, Not even a little bit.

Tuesday, August 07, 2001

and then BLAMMO! a whole month wips past.

I'm cranky. REALLY CRANKY

It's hot it's been hot for like ever. I don't like the heat. Work is complicated. As near as a can I figure I'm canned but I can't get the guy to call me back and tell me for real. So I might not be. I might have to go back to managing the store.
which would actually be a good thing. I can un-fuck the place in a month or two and then get it back in the right direction and positive comps. but that will mean that I am not home schooling my eldest this year. which is probably ok, it's only first grade and he's already covered everything in that curriculum.

But some decent things have been going on. I've been able to go out sailing twice in the last two weeks. once on a friends dad's boat. I even got to dive on the prop and unsnarl the shaft. Once on some acquaintances cape dory 36. Among the biggest 36 footers going. I got to be on the helm most of the way and I am gaining some confidence with a wheel instead of a tiller.

On the way home from work saturday I was listening to the CBC station out of Toronto. They had some live show and and I started right at the beginning of what turned out to be Fred Eaglesmith singing a song called white rose. He's a bitter angry man who grew up farming in ontario. not unlike my ancestors. It rang clean to the bone for me. to the bone I am composing this listening to him now. Now I don't particularly like country. I've often been heard to say that all seven good country song were written by Hank Sr. and Johnny Cash and every other song after that was a lame imitation.

Fred Eaglesmith is not a Lame imitation

He's the genuine article.

It may be also that I am going through some wierd internal thing related to my family's Homestead. I haven't been there in years. too many years. My little sisters and my new brother-in-law are up near it right now, but they are staying at the hunting lodge down the road on account of the homestead needing some roofing work and glazing on the windows. in all, two or three days hard work for a determined person. It really should get done before winter(read September) but I just don't see how I can take the time away from my work (unless I actually do get canned and then I really won't be able to afford it,) and my familly to go up there to do the work. In my own head the place I became a man was up there and the place I learned just what that means was there. I've got my own issues with that to work out right now. I haven't been doing so well in the providing for my family part of being a man.

For those of you that are curious it's in a town called charlton. such a small town that you can't even get driving directions to it from yahoo. You have to get a map to Englehart and wing it from there. which is pretty much what happens as there aren't any roadsigns anyway.

Monday, July 09, 2001

that was the first real writing i've posted here in quite a while. spell and grammar checked by hand in notepad and linkchecked in opera. but don't expect more like that anytime soon. this came at the cost of two nights sleep.
On the way home from work saturday I happened to catch This American Life. It was the independence day episode with the Vowell sisters on the trail of tears.

I got to thinking. this story is pretty similar to every other story in the great collection of stories that make up the attempted genocide of the entire sum of native north american races. Everyone gets taught the "trail of tears" in school here. It has all the classic elements; greedy white people, malfeasance of the federal government, long forced march to a place unsuitable for them to continue their lifestyle, lots of them dying, buried on the way.

I know a story similar to this.

when I was young My mom bought a horse for us. It was a beautiful horse, slightly crazy, very inbred, fast and incredibly agile. It was an appaloosa. There was an important rule at the appaloosa horse club.

You must never ever ever breed one of these horses with a draft horse. If you do we will throw you out of the club, never allow you to register another horse and eventually come to your house and murder you in your sleep and leave parts of your sorry family's corpses all over the town as a warning
Well maybe it didn't say exactly that but the tone was there. As a ten year old kid, the story of how that rule came to be, left quite an impression on me.

For me the story begins right near the end of the actual story. In the late 1870's the US Army takes possesion of all the horses from the Nez Perce tribe(a name that particularly irks them, because in the generations since the obnoxious frenchies gave them the name nasal piercing has gone back out of fasion for them). The US Army hates these horses, because for much of the last few months and 1700 or so miles it has been getting its ass kicked by fierce men on these even fiercer horses. This has just recently changed because you've recently gathered a much greater number of the US Army and had some astoudingly bad weather in your favor. Unlike virtually every other group of natives on the continent these nose piercing "Dreamers" have been selectively and scientifically breeding horses to do just the sort of things the Army wishes its cavalry horses would do. The problem is these horses just won't do the same things for them. The US Army takes the other route and breeds every damn one of them with draft horses to make their progeny slow and not very agile at all.

Fast Forward to nearly two decades ago. I had been doing some barrel racing with my Shetland pony.(which happens to be a very poor choice of breeds for that sort of thing, as they are a miniature draft horse, but I was ten and it was the pony I had, and I was quite fond of her so just shut the hell up, ok?) I was competing in these gymkhana events with the real gamers, who all had appaloosas. While there are other horse breeds that excel in gymkhana like cloverleaf barrels or keyhole, The kids who did the game series in the summer played polo in the winter.(It might be worth noting at this point the kids I am refering to were between six and eight years older and not what some of you might have come to mind when you think polo player. These kids were all white trash from the outlying towns and drove beat up camaros and hauled the stock trailers around to events with their dad's farm truck. For good or ill, at that time of my life, I idolized them.) They had appaloosas because that was just the horse you wanted to be on when you had to charge into a crowd of other people on horses and armed with nothing but a very long hammer steal their ball and run it down to the goal. The game is essentially similar hockey or lacrosse, but on horseback played by marginalized adolescents it achieves a level of hostility that makes those sports seem tame.

They have these horses because a group of very dedicated white people have spent most of a century trying to breed the draft back out of those horses from the tribe in the Palouse hills. They are fine beautiful horses if a little inbred. That is why they are so particular about the draft horse thing. The club has a version of the tribes story they tell to explain the tradition. It goes something like this:

In 1877 the Nez Perce Indians, led by Chief Joseph, were told to leave their lands for an already crowded reservation in Idaho. The tribe refused, whereupon the Army showed up and commenced to chase the indians all the hell over the West until trapping them on a mountain almost in sight of the Canadian border. Chief Joseph then surrendered and while his people were figuratively bent over and nailed by a draft horse their horses literally were.
Again I have taken some liberties quoting here but that is pretty much the way I remember it.

Like all stories involving two or more people there are a few versions of it and the above version seems to have left out some facts. As it turns out four fifths of the tribe (those led by other chiefs) signed the treaty and moved without much incident onto the Lapwai reservation.(These folks don't seem to make much noise about Chief Joseph. They do however have an interesting program in which they are trying to get their kids into breeding and using horses. When I was in college I was involved in a program where we taught "at-risk" kids of the local reservation to build canoes. It wasn't ironic, it was just sad.) The appearance of the Army to roust them off their land wasn't a sudden surprise although it was hastened by the rash act of a few young braves. When they did finally surrender, their trail of tears wasn't over. They were marched from Montana all the way to Leavenworth, where they dropped like flies. From there, they were sent to Oklahoma. If they converted to christianity they were allowed to go to the Lapwai reservation from there. Joseph and the others who wouldn't convert eventually were sent to a reservation in Washington.

If you prefer you can read the whole story from the perspective of Chief Joseph. It has a little intro from some missionary at the time. You could also read the version from the general that Joseph mostly faced in this whole deal. I'd recommend that you read Joseph's account first as General Howard's version is mainly written as a rebuttal. They are both found on the web courtesy of someone who has done an exhaustive amount of research on the topic for a book.

All in all a sad story but really not an unusual one. Whether you you look at the example of the jews in Germany or the natives in North America, or the neighboring tribes to the Incas, the moral to the story is always the same. You have much more to fear from governments and similar large organizations than just about anything else. In spite of all our squawking to the contrary our government is no exception to this. But never forget that greed plays a huge role in this too.

Thursday, July 05, 2001

yesterday was independence day.

A day we celebrate telling the english to stick it.

as for independence well that's questionable these days.

for independence day I tried to figure out how to feed my family without giving any money to the evil motherfuckers at archer daniels midland.

the beginning of that process is mapping out the ties of corporate ownership and board of directors ties. It's incredibly complicated. I'm looking for a little help if any one knows much or a site that has already done the work It would help.

the ultimate goal is a cleverly designed page where some one can easily navigate the web and see each person in the chain with their responsibilities and related crimes against humanity. something a little bit like what those extremist anti-choice sites.

Saturday, June 30, 2001

I want you to picture something.
You work at a toy'r'us.

it's the saturday before christmas

you don't have any of the cool buzz lightyears that in the ad(and you only got three when you did have them any way)

the boss took the day off (presumably he didn't think it was an important day)

he also left you with less staff than you would have on a normal saturday.(approximately half of which are B-players you wouldn't even have hired much less have still working.)

everything profitable is locked up so you customers can't help themselves (even assuming that they knew enough about the product to)

every eighth customer tramples the six patient(they at least know that they should be embarassed to be shopping at the last minute) customers to blurt out "is this the right doll for my kid!?"

you have a slightly misanthropic nature in the best of crowds.


with that picture in your head I am going to bed.

Thursday, June 28, 2001

I have a bimbobox. It's not like the standard ones from chrysler that are made out of a car. It's the chevy astro flavor wit light truck underpinnings. It has a relatively new motor and the frame and floor is perfect. The doorskins and rocker panels have succumbed to the great cancer that eventually claims all vehicles here in the Rust belt. For quite awhile I possessed this minivan without actually using it. Part of it was financial. I just didn't want to spend the money to fix it,but some of it was that I didn't really put being a bimbobox driver at the top of my priority list.

I am here to tell you folks I was wrong(insert social distortion tune here). Minivans are cool. you can load three kids, wife, and all their assorted paraphernalia into the van and go to the beach. Without drama. You can make it so none of the kids can even touch each other. they are cool.

plus you sit up high enough that you can look down into other vehicles. In western new york in the summer, that's a pretty nice perk

Have Imentioned that I hate the heat? In case I haven't i'll mention it again.

Tuesday, June 19, 2001

I have been peering internally to try and figure out where my nearly unbreakable obsession with going to see the new TombRaider. I desperately want to see it. The problem is this: My wife and I get out to see slightly less the two movies a year. I don't even want to ask her to go see this one. It's not that she won't enjoy it, but if she gets to go out to only one movie each year, she likes it to be something with substance.

So the question becomes why the obsession?

The knee jerk answer is Angelina but that doesn't really make the cut. My wife is at least that sexy and is married to me instead of billybob. The next obvious answer is the obvious eyecandy and effects. But I'm not that powerfully motivated by F/X either.

And then it came to me. Molly.

yes that Molly. the one he wrote out of the script when he realized that the movie would suck and he would lose the rights to use her again. And since Johnny dies before neuromancer even begins nobody cared about losing him.

"You want to get out of here, boss? People are starting to stare." She stood up. She was wearing leather jeans the color of dried blood.


How can you not fall in love with a girl like that. That sexy lithe sweet little thing, who just happens to be armed to the teeth, and ready to kill to protect you. Gibson isn't alone in his creation. Heinlein wrote Friday. parts of her trickled into America Shaftoe for Neal Stephenson.

So how did we(I say we because I know I am not alone) get this little obsession? This need for a girl who is sex, violence, death. and savior all rolled into one. For me I think I know the answer.

I first met Molly when I was fourteen or fifteen. I didn't fit in in school. I got my ass kicked on a regular basis(this was before I discovered the secret of not getting your ass kicked all the time. Once, just once, you have to react out of proportion to the offense. Billy Joe Jock hits you in some kind of locker room bullying, hit him in the side of the face with the combination lock in your hand. when he goes down hit him again. once he is on the ground just keep kicking him, don't stop till someone comes to pull you off. get him once more in the face with you booted foot as they pull you off. No jock ever hit's you like that again. the verbal abuse will continue but always from a distance.) I had been a practicing pacifist for years, even to the point that I wouldn't hit back in a fight. but somewhere inside there was a thing growing. A thing built of a pubescent male fantasy. the rescue thing. the sex thing. the need for a girl who's just not like the other girls.

In college(the first attempt) I had a friend who taught me to fence. She was good, competed nationally, the whole bit. Even after I reached the point where I was good, my six inches of reach advantage didn't mean i ever won a match with her. While she was very attractive, the sex thing just wasn't there for us. But the violence, that was there. In spades.

years go by. I meet a nearly perfect(although decidedly non violent) woman. Marry her, have kids and eight years into that it just keeps getting better. but somewher the is still that little fantasy part that knows I betrayed Molly. And that is one little girl you don't want to be betraying.

Maybe I'll go see TombRaider alone.

Wednesday, June 13, 2001

old news
after you read that go read this
I often tell people that there is no better place in the world to live than western new york. you get four perfect seasons. there are things to do. the apples and peaches are better here than anywhere else on the planet. unlike many people who might make this claim, i have actually been other places but chose to come back here.

there is one little thing i forgot to mention. It can get hot in the summer. like alabama hot. like 90 degrees fahrenheit and 90 percent humidity. one thing i can say about winter; you can always put more clothes on. after a certain point you can't get any more naked in the summer. hopefully this weather will be mercifully brief.

Tuesday, June 12, 2001

Here are some of the things I have done in the last few days.
  • I took a ride delivering a sailboat upriver and got caught in a vale of dogwoods so thick it looked like flurries.
  • I drove the family communal one ton stake bed Chevy truck out to the very small town where my inlaws live. circumstances dictated that I drive the stuck down the center of town, climb out of the truck wearing grease-stained clothes and walk into the combination gas station/subshop/grocery store. I am not sure if I can convey to you just how white trash I looked at that moment.
  • I brought the old chevy astro van that my father in law gave my wife(she promptly failed to take into account the small item of having to put back the oil that leaked and wound up with bits of crankshaft all over the road) in to the garage that one of my little brother's friends just purchased. Since the incident with the crankshaft the van has had another engine installed, but it's never run. Because I was constantly travelling while this was going on I was never close to the details and never really put the effort into figuring out what the problem was that I should have. Well, the hard unfortunate truth is that my brother's friend not only figured it out in less than twenty minutes when three other mechanics failed he did it whilst continuing to run all the paying customers through the shop. Frank's da man. I mean it. If you live in the area he has the old sunoco station just south of the 290 on Niagara Falls Blvd.
  • I became involved in the barter economy. See it works like this. My brother(who is a detail obsessed gunsmith who needs a shop) builds a very nice "AT&T" rifle for Frank out of parts that Frank pays for. Frank gets an incredibly accurate long range bolt action rifle for the price of raw materials. I provide a bunch of free semi-skilled labor to my brother while he builds some furniture on contract. My brother eventuall collects severall thousand dollars for the furniture. I get my van fixed for the price of the parts. Nobody spends as much money as it really costs (except the furniture buyer who is actually getting a price only couple hundred dollars less than they would have paid elsewhere). I got a running van for the price of the parts and access to a really nice shop when I need it for the other vehicles. none of this ever exists in the money economy. so I with the assistance of some other people enriched all of our lives while reducing the GNP proportionately.
  • I took my two younger boys to the hot dog stand on the canal that I very occasionally went to whe I was a kid.
  • A kid I knew was killed this morning. Granted I only knew him in the tangential way that you know the older brother of your best friend's girlfriend. But I live in a small town and we all know each other at least a little.

    He was a bright kid. A bit prone to railing on about the injustices in the world but bright nonetheless. He was a skillful and caring hunter. His dad and he didn't get along very well. He adored his little sister. Who adored him even more.

    He voluntarily served his country in a war which he did not believe in. Unlike the Vietnam Veterans, he came back to flags, fanfare and a hero's welcome. and a minimum wage job with no real future.

    He was angry with the way he had been used in the gulf war. He was angry with the way our government treated certain bizarre religious sects. He was angry with the way our government treated people who were paranoid and afraid of the government(I interrupt this otherwise terse monologue to remind you that just because you are paranoid doesn't mean you are wrong). He was angry at the way small farm families were being treated at the hands of the corporations who actually had influence with our government.

    He was just plain angry at a lot of things. Then he did something stupid. He let that anger fester into a rage while he waited for somebody else to do something about the things he was angry about. "They", to noone's surprise, didn't do a damn thing.

    Then, to the surprise of practically everyone who ever knew him, he murdered 168 or so people.

    There are, however, some things to remember on the event of "we the People"'s retribution:



  • Our government is still guilty of everything that he accused it.
  • there are lots of other angry ragefilled wackjobs out there
  • most of them have good justifications for their rage
  • we, the common people still have little or no access to government even at a local level(don't believe me? go down to your local school board and try to get a copy of their bylaws and policies without going through hours of paperwork and eventually having to threat a FOIA suit)
  • most of us would agree that it is better to effect change in a manner which does not kill people, but it only takes one person to screw it up for the rest of us.
  • our federal agents are fortunate that with the current administration's new focus on removing the first and fourth ammendment rights of U.S. citizens that they will be less likely to meet an untimely death at the hands of a very scared fourteen year boy. Fans of the first and fourth ammendments tend to be less heavily armed that do fans of the second.
  • No matter what the media and other related spin doctors say, Timothy McVeigh was not a White Supremacist Christian Identity wackjob. Whatever kind of wackjob he was, he was one of the most vehemently antiracist people I've ever met.




  • p.s. lest any of you readers worry about my state of mind. Don't worry!! I'm not angry or going to blow anything up. Not only do I have a wife and three kids to care for, but in my old age I find that I am too feeble to carry on Rage for enough time to listen to a Ministry album all the way through let alone plan anything destructive.

    Tuesday, May 29, 2001

    ok I missed the memorial day post. i was busy doing stuff in meatspace. here it is late, but here.

    i am just tired of the nonsense i heard this year about veterans on memorial day. it's not that i don't appreciate or love veterans. those of you who know me in meatspace and a great many of you who know me in cyberspace know this. I have spent years and still spend hours each month listening and doing what i can to heal the aching minds and souls of veterans. it's just that we already have a national day to remember them by. it's called veteran's day.

    this is memorial day. it's for remembering(memorial) those fallen in combat. by definition a veteran is one who didn't fall in combat. they survived and became veterans of the war. whatever war it happened to be. on memorial day we honor the ones who didn't come home or if they did it was in a bodybag. there have been quite a lot of them over the years.

    so i spent some time thinking about them.

    Thursday, May 24, 2001

    that and loperamide HCl is a miracle drug.
    something happened today to make me realize just how strong my wife is.

    some background. counting today I have puked less than dozen times in my nearly three decades of existence here. my aforementioned nearly perfect wife has some health problems. they are incredibly complicated and not really something i want to talk about here. one of the worst complications is something that is remarkably similar to but not the same as IBS. the gist is that when the trigger event happens(a particular food, stress, etc) her body stops at the point where her stomach joins her intestines. every thing above that point is ejected immediately out the top, and everything below is sent very rapidly out the bottom. the whole process takes about an hour. it takes days to recover from the effects.

    some time last night or this morning I ate something that didn't agree with me. I am not sure exactly was it was but i have my suspicions. the end result was that the above event happened to me for the first time in my life. I can honestly say that this was the single most unpleasant physical experience i've ever had. take note that this statement comes from a guy who has been laying on the ground unfortunately conscious while six much bigger guys kicked the shit out of him; from a guy that has had the cinch strap from his saddle break while ascending a rocky streambed and in the resulting chaos had his beloved quarterhorse step on him at least five times. this was much worse than either of those things. I survived this but not without a lot of whining and bad language.

    the point to this story is that this horrible physical ordeal that i just went through is something she puts up with on a regular basis and with virtually no whining on her part.

    Tuesday, May 22, 2001

    oh yeah and opera5 for linux kicks ass! for all the hard core open source zealots who go berserk about the qt libraries. look at netscape and then look at opera. then go shut up.
    one of the things about writing is that you have to do it almost every day if you are gonna be any good at it. right now I don't have that possibility. maybe in august or september. but the cliche "make hay when the sun shines" is just what I have to do right now. still I have things to say about what is happening in the world almost every day. where I can I'll talk about it here but else I might dig up some old thing i wrote.

    so in honor of the morons from the earth liberation front getting headlines again. the only thing I really have to add is that these assholes will generate so much bad press by doing stupid and counterproductive thing that now, when the nation really needs sensible productive eco terrorists they will cause the focus of law enforcement types on the whole subject.

    and for those of you who might be looking to me for guidance in just what needs to be done? Forget it! I have a wife and kids and just can't do that kind of stuff anymore.

    Saturday, May 19, 2001

    sorry I haven't posted for a month. I've been doing lots of thinking and the like but find that much of it I can't post here. work is ... well, work and i can't go into any detail here lest my former boss(who stuck his neck out to get me here) think i am whining. There are things going on in our country that I am concerned about that I also can't talk about here. I need some things.

    A literary agent with connections to publishers that can get shelf space and don't mind publishing really thought provoking and controversial fiction.

    about seventy five thousand dollars, although that could potentially be handled by the above.

    a web host immune to subpeonas from the united states

    about three weeks off to finish the novel for the above purposes

    Monday, April 09, 2001

    As some of you may or may not know my wife and I are working through the process of building a boat. We are very early in the process. Nothing is actually built yet. We have a design that is almost perfect for our needs. We have had discussions with the designer about what it will cost in design fees to make it perfect. and then what it will cost extra to get all the hull plates rendered into CNC files to be cut out on a giant plasma cutter.

    Now, in theory, I am trained in boat design and building. In fact I have designed and built boats. However, they have all been under twenty feet and made of wood. Plywood mostly. In fact I am a pretty good small plywood boat designer and builder. The problem here is: I know jack about designing and building steel boats. I know slightly more than jack about putting interiors in steel boats. I have fallen deeply in love with the concept of a well designed and constructed Steel yacht.

    So I have gone to a designer who:

    Has four decades or so of building boats

    Steel ones

    tugs, small island freighters, and private yachts that resemble same.

    that has lived a board a boat of some sort for most of those four decades

    makes a habit of designing interiors that meant to be lived in not just visited on the weekend

    has some experience in the type of construction I wish to do

    has a good relationship with the companies who will do the thingd I want done.

    has a stock plan that is within five or six hours of drafting time of the boat I want.


    His name is Jay Benford.
    There is a wonderful website for a boat that may be the first one built the way that I intend to. They detail it in pretty decent photos on the site. The actual constructor of the boat was Custom Steel Boats They have some wonderful photos on their site and a pretty description of the process used. The gist of it is this. Somebody (like this company) takes the plans and lofts (which means make fullsize patterns for the pieces of the boat) them into NC files for use by a company that specializes in cutting out bits of steel with computer controlled plasmacutters. the company who cuts them out would ideally cut the steel out of pieces that are pre sandblasted and preprimed with a weldable primer. This means that when you finish the boat you don't have to sandblast the entire boat, just the weld seams, saving both the labor and the problem of what to do with a hull with several hundred pounds of sand in the bilge. the cutting company then ships the whole lot to you (or your builder) with appropriate tab A into Slot B markings for your assembly. Once it welded and the seams are blasted and re-primed, the bilge sump is coated with several coats of epoxy to keep the boat from rusting from the inside out(which, incidentally is the most common way steel yachts die). The entire rest of the interior is covered with a couple inches of sprayed in place foam(not altogether unlike the stuff you might us to seal that bad patch of siding behind the gutters where nobody can see( go ahead deny it but you and I both know it's there)). The foam does several things all of them good:

    it also seals the steel and prevents it from rusting from the inside out,

    it prevents most of the condensation that would normally occur in a metal boat(many people who have uninsulated metal boats refer to the interior as "the rainforest"),

    it keeps the interior cool in the summer and warm in the winter( surely you must know someone that has licked a steel flagpole in the winter?)


    The exterior of the boat then gets primed with an epoxy primer and painted above the waterline with a pretty two part polyurethane, and below the waterline with a paint nasty enough to kill barnacles and the like(I should probably note at this point that I make my living selling just this sort of stuff and I'm damn good at it). Now you have something that looks like a boat. Now you get to spend about twice as much time as you have spent so far fitting in an interior putting a rig on it, probably an engine too unless you are some kind of nutjob purist. So let's make it three times as much as you have put in so far. But right now it looks like a boat so go ahead and woohoo if you need to.

    In the process of researching this whole process I felt I needed to learn how to weld. I kind of know now but just the sort of stuff you do on a farm on an antique arc welder that is powered by the engine of the very same tractor you are trying to weld. certainly not the sort of professional look I would be going for here. So here are a bunch of links that I found to larn ya the theory and practice of bonding metals.

    Sunday, April 08, 2001

    For those of you that don't know I have recently switched from my previously and tenaciously held view that privacy is a must have freedom that is to be defended at all cost with every thing from crypto to violent revolution. I have switched over to David Brin's image of a Transparent Society". It's a concept put forth convincingly in both his novel Earth and his nonfiction book The Transparent Society. Go out and take the time to read these (and I do mean time. Earth took me two weeks and I go through books like the folks down on genessee street go through Crack), but the gist of the idea is this. In a world where noone has privacy not even and ESPECIALLY governments we could all trust that what we say is happening is really happening and begin to hold individuals, corporations, and governments responsible for their actions. With accountability comes a sort of freedom we have only imagined in large scale but have never seen. The anarchists dream society. You can do whatever you want as long as you are willing to be held accountable for your actions. You can even listen to an hour and not quite twenty minutes of Neal Stephenson trying to sell Brin's idea over dinner at CFP in Toronto if you are still not sold on the idea.
    Now I don't for even one second think this will be an easy task. even brin depicted the rest of us bombing Switzerland flat as Kansas in an attempt get them to sign the treaty of openness. I think something not quite as drastic would be needed for our government to let go of it's pathological need to keep secrets as well. In the meantime there are some people already starting to push in the own quiet way for openness.
    Now there is one character in the news lately who has taken this to quite an extreme. Unfortunately for both him and us, he is possessed of a case of terminal can'tshuthisdamntrapitis and has not surprisingly fallen afoul of the feds. They have an extremely weak interstate stalking case against him for attempting to collect just exactly the sort of information that would be needed in the hands of citizens to make good decisions in holding our civil servants accountable for their actions. Unfortunate for him because he is probably going to go down for a crime he either didn't commit or isn't actually a crime. unfortunate for us because those of us less extreme in our views will have this awful precedent set and it will make it much more difficult for us to assemble accountability mechanisms that don't involve hunting down and killing bad people.
    There are still some permanent accountability options but I'll leave that discussion to another post.
    Given these type of situations I am not about to be giving up my encryption tools just this moment.

    Saturday, April 07, 2001

    about a month or so ago I was reading a piece by Che Guevara, Man and Socialism in Cuba(it's available for the palm from Memoware. It was one of the last things he had published before the Company had his head and hands buried separately. For those of you not familiar with Che and his writings He was brilliant man who hated several sorts of go for the jugular capitalism. In the part of argentina he grew up in he was exposed to it from several directions. His father was at different points in his life a wealthy landowner and at other points a shiftless jobless poor layabout.(some of this was brought about by the failed boatbuilding business owned by his father's cousin German Frers(yes that German Frers)). Any how he was a brilliant guerilla organizer who in spite of a pretty terrible asthma condition was also a passable jungle fighter in his own right. He will probably be forever remembered as the guy who got Fidel a job. If you look deeper you will find that he wasn't much of a communist. Fellow traveller yeah probably but in fact a pretty shitty marxist. (damn good thing too!, as that crap certianly didn't work out like they thought) Any how the point of this whole intro is to highlight a few quotes from this last little article and point out that as Che was predicting how communism would fail That he turned out to be right fucking on the money.



    We can attempt to graft elm trees so that they bear pears, but at the same time we must plant pear trees.


    Translated "you can remove despots and even temporarily replace a despot with another more to your liking but if you don't have a better plan you're gonna starve"




    Our job is to keep the present generation, maladjusted by its conflicts, from becoming perverted and perverting the new generations. We do not want to create salaried workers docile to official thinking nor "fellows" who live under the wing of the budget, exercising freedom in quotation marks.


    I don't even think I need to translate that one. Right on the money.

    If a man thinks that in order to devote his entire life to the revolution, he cannot be distracted by the worry that one of his children lacks a certain article, that the children's shoes are in poor condition, that his family lacks some necessary item, with this reasoning, the seeds of future corruption are allowed to filter through.


    It is awful tough to continue a revolution when you have infront of you solid proof that while you have thrown of the yoke of oppression you're children are starving and those still "oppressed" are having no trouble feeding their kids and indeed even buying them jeans and playstations.


    Come to think of it maybe it wasn't the CIA that had him wacked. It might've been Fidel.
    yes it's been awhile. and now you're going to get a great big pile of linked goodness.

    Thursday, March 15, 2001

    While we are on the topic of thieving intellectual property I have a few more links. the first is more flash than substance right now but it does have a copy of the CIA's Psychops in Guerilla warfare. You can go out to a bookstore and buy this ( I know that at least a decade ago my university bookstore carried it) but if you're like me you might just have the attitude that your tax dollars already paid for it and damnit why should I have to pay for it.
    the second is a neat idea of open content with a liscence similar to the GNU LPL. Lovely idea but the implementation is a little pedantic. I'd like to see something similar but without so much of the baggage that academics carry into the life.
    This might be the most evil thing I've seen in weeks. the current implementation is a little flaky but it's still down right evil.

    I particularly love the way they describe it as if it's a perfectly ok thing to do. It's a little like saying "every day thousands of people leave their houses unlocked. in fact here is a tool to get a nice convenient list of them. that way if you ever need a place to crash or to put some things for a little while you'll always have one."

    I wouldn't recommend giving your credit card number to these guys to pay for the software. these are definitely the sort of people who need to have their Intellectual Property stolen from them.

    Monday, March 12, 2001

    To top off my lovely series of days I just this afternoon narowly escaped serving on a jury. I was ready for it though. the case had to do with a situation where the case rested on a he said she said deal with the defendant and a police officer and on the surface it looked like they were both lying. The questions they asked the prospective jurors were things like "do you think that an officer of the law has more credibility than an ordinary citizen?" they got the last alternate from the woman on my left as I was seated in the questioning box. That's good. They probably didn't want my answer.

    "no, in fact my experience has been that in the pursuit of their profession that pigs are much more likely to lie that your average plumber, auto mechanic, or lawyer"
    Declan McCullagh (who runs the politech mailing list that I have been a member of for several years) was subpoenaed at CFP just after the carnivore panel discussion. Declan lives in Washington DC, where as some of you know, is where the USDOJ is also located. So I ask you why oh why was it necessary to fly all the way to Boston in the middle of one of the worst storms in a long time to serve him a subpoena in front of all the other people that oppose the government's encroachments of our (meaning the citizens of the USA) privacy and other fundamental rights.

    Oh wait. I think I just answered my question

    A friend of my wife's(who I actually do like) that we haven't seen or heard from in quite a while tracked me down based on Patti Ann's notes about her wedding. Apparently that is what shows up when you google my real name. when you google cumorglas this is pretty much all you would get. Not that many biggreydogs out there. He is apparently doing ok but details have not yet been achieved.
    Erratic has become quite alarmed at ICANN's tentative plan to screw with .org names. He has started a lovely page to help you agree with him. (he is right to be alarmed. for the same reason I oppose the creation of a .xxx domain. I just don't want them deciding what we can and can't say on which pages. right or wrong I don't want it.) Go there and give him a nudge of support.
    While I am not personally threatened by this nonsense(the only .org I own is actually for a nonprofit I successfully completed the 501c-3 bullshit on just two weeks ago.) I do think that it is a good idea to hammer ICANN on this one.
    Some of you may have noticed that I haven't posted in a while. I've been busy. work stuff was hectic until just recently. for about the last 10 days one member or another or occasionally all four of the other members of my household has been leaking/exploding out of all the natural orifices. Not pleasant. And I am sick of always being the healthy one. So when i wasn't at work selling stuff or counting little shackles and what not or dressed like the pilsbury doughboy helping my little brother smear epoxy on furniture or wishing I was dressed like the pilspury doughboy cleaning up puke or diarhea I quite honestly wasn't up to writing much.
    some things of note have happened so I will try to relate them and their significance.

    this may be my favourite query hit yet.

    But I'm still betting on Steve Case

    Friday, February 23, 2001

    Now for something that really gets me pissed. I am VERY tired of when normal ordinary nutjobs do normal nutjob stuff like killing people, the media blame the internet before the bodies are even cold. The implication seems to be that because knives are easily available on the internet that the internet is somehow to blame for the killing.
    What the article somehow doesn't seem to grasp is the the purchase of a knife on the internet which generated a paper trail is one of the things that helped the stupid kids get caught so quickly. The paper trail wouldn't have been generated if the knife had been bought at the local surplus store and paid for with cash.

    Now as a guy who really like knives, I am concerned about the attempt to regulate them already. not a day goes by that I don't use a knife as a useful tool. From cutting open a box to severing a sheet that is jammed on the winch and we need to tack right now unless we want to hit that boat and not only get hurt but far worse get disqualified. I have never killed anyone with a knife. I have at times been tempted to remove a person's thumb, toe, or other assorted appendage but again, I never have actually had to do such.
    We are talking about a tool I carry daily and use daily. The fact that it is also potentially a weapon DOES NOT give you or anybody else the right to regulate its purchase or possesion. Period.

    I once had a screwdriver put through the web of my hand. Believe me you would much rather be stabbed with a knife than an unregulated flathead screwdriver.
    while I am on the subject. Migs were designed to suck the odd bolt or rock through the engines without any drama. None of our modern fighter craft could suck up so much as a washer and survive.
    I have driven and worked on Ladas so Please don't misconstrue what I say here to mean that I think russian design is superior. It's not. Just plain not.

    but some of their design criteria are.

    If their aircraft could be knocked out of operation with a piece of steel pipe, some gunpowder, and a handful of gravel. we would have had The Taliban at least a decade earlier.

    If they had designed their space program to get the cosmonauts down if anything ever went wrong, we would know next to nothing about repairing stuff in space.

    Back to that Lada. There are certain situations where a vehicle that is noisy, smelly, inefficient but can be repaired with a kit of tools that will easily fit in your backpocket is a good thing. probably not in most places people live. but northern ontario is not so dissimilar to most of russia. shitty winter and the nearest place to get parts may be across several hundred kilometers of emptiness. but at least in canada when you make the trek you can find almost everything you could need at the Canadian Tire store.
    maybe I am overreacting. it turns out that i am a mere 26 places lower in the google rank than this company when you search for magnetic sweeper. And it is plausible that somebody surfing from work might just click on a few other things that look interesting. But for crying out loud shouldn't the navy be using something to scrub their ip's? it's really not hard.
    about two hours ago somebody searched my site looking for "magnet sweeper" when I say searched my site I mean my site specifically. I put up with a lot of wierd search queries as I am sure do most people who blog. I even have some small amount of compassion for the 8% or so of hits that come here looking for "forced cunnilingus". very small amount. The reason that this particular query bothers me is twofold.

    They searched my site specifically.

    the ip address resolves out in navy.mil

    Tuesday, February 20, 2001

    for a very limited time only!

    some levellers tunes.
    Another one of easily the top ten live acts in the world happens to be coming to buffalo. that's right boys and girls Black 47 is coming to the tralfamadore cafe. March 7!

    Just in case there any fans out there.

    Well for those of you who didn't go; The levellers show at Lee's was awesome. Worth the many years wait. The didn't bring the whole band. There were some ah er um passport issues, and some money issues. They paid for the trip out of pocket as they have no label on this continent. They are hoping to land a label here so they can afford to tour here more often than once a decade or so. So, if you are a record label with the patience of Job and the clout to make those little difficulties with customs go away, here is a band with a built in fan base that is just dying to get some product. go see them tonight in Ottawa, or Thursday in Boston, or friday in NYC.

    Friday, February 16, 2001

    In relation to the last post I am going to ask a very tall favor of you few people who actually read this once in a while. Please look over this questionnaire and email your answers at your convenience. It takes some thought and time and I don't expect it right away. It is almost exactly two years old right now but I believe in a hundred years it will still be a useful questionnaire. If you don't fill this out and you run into me in meatspace don't be surprised if I thrust a copy into your face and prevent you from eating or peeing untill you read it.
    for those of you who have been slightly distressed by the fact that most of the handful of genes that separate us from mice seem to be remnants of viri and bacteria. here is a good hard scifi novel that will much more than disturb you. it has appeared in the also need to be updated and actually finished "reading list" for about ten months now. I made the mistake of reading it the first time while in the hospital with my wife giving birth to our youngest(now slightly over one year old). I heartily encourage you to read it but not while you have a pregnant wife.

    Greg Bear keeps more up to date on molecular biology than many university professors in the field. It's one of the things that makes his work so real. He with David Brin, Orson Scott Card, Neal Stephenson, Gregory Benford, and many others, make a very compelling argument for something I have long said. Science fiction is the best place to work out the philosophical, moral, and ethical implications and applications of technology. Far better than working them out by trial and error. We are racing along toward thing that many people never even dreamed possible. Often I feel we are doing it without even looking where our foot will rest when next it touches down. While I don't think that we are rapidly approaching an abyss to fall into, we could be. My money is on a tree branch that we didn't see causing us to fall and break an ankle. Even then I always hope that somewhere along the line enough people will have had the minds open and looking forward to be able to shout "Look out for that Tree!!!!"
    To go along with the desperately in need of an update "Some Things you should know about me", I am typing "Some Things you wish you didn't know about me".


    In spite of the recent findings in the genome I believe in genetic memory. I first started thinking about it when my second cousin (who has in so many positive ways affected my life(he taught me to canoe, and the difference between being alive and not, why you alway spend a little more care cleaning out the blackpowder shotgun if you are gonna reload it right away, how to tell if you are an alcoholic or someone who just needs to relax, and the list goes on)) talked about an incident in which he and his daughter(then about six) happened across a farmer on Salt Road who was trying very unsuccesfully to retrieve his horse who had gone astray into the alfalfa field. The farmer lived far enough away from their house that he wasn't a neighbor, but close enough that they might run into each other in the supermarket.


    My cousin decided to stop and help the farmer capture his horse. As he hopped out of the truck his Daughter said "Put it in the truck Daddy!!!" He shrugged. While walking into the filed and grabing the horse with absolutely no fuss at all grabbing halter if the horse that the farmer had not been able get he had a Fear. The base of you spine fear you get when the sniper has you in the scope and is just deciding if you are the target. Not really something you can put a finger but very powerful nonetheless. The sort of Fear you would get if you were borrowing someones horse from the moor and the landlord's lantern came on and you heard him slap closed that shotgun. Family legends being what they were; he never really believed the story of our family's arrival in the new world till that moment.


    I understand where he was coming from these days. I notice these things I have taken to calling vestigial behaviors. Things I have always done or felt without really knowing why or examining it too closely.


    Whenever a strong light shines on me I have a barely controllable need to put it out. This is why I never keep ranged weapons in the car or pretty much anywhere else.

    Whenever I am anywhere but home I need to see all the possible entrances.

    I also have as many immediate escape plans as possible for any room by the time I sit down with my back to a wall. I include my wife and kids in the escape plan and I try to minimize bloodshed to bystanders, but I can't help but notice how much simpler the plans would be without that last bit.

    I am virtually never without at least one good knife on me and am slightly freaked out if it ever occurs. Which is occasionally an issue in airports when they crank up the sensors too high and they can get a buzzer off the spyderco.

    I get nervous when I see my three year old eyeing the inside of the Armored car loading the ATM's at the grocery store.

    And he says "Papa that guy is old, why are they letting him guard the money?"

    Horses have pretty much alway done what I asked of them, even that crazy inbred Appaloosa my mom had that kept needing stitches after running through the fence.


    No one in my family has needed these type of skills or fears for at least four generations or so, but at one time they were survival traits and somehow got passed on. (if you don't think fears are a survival skill then you try not teaching you kids to be afraid of the road. if nothing else it'll keep you out of the gene pool. it's muddy and shallow as it is) I have a friend who, after listening to some of my and my families exploits that we have attempted and fizzled out due to some unforeseen lack of actual ambition, speculated on my branch of the family lacking the ambition gene. He noted that with my family's particular type of creativity gene that the lack of ambition gene might just have been a survival factor.

    Yeah whatever.

    Thursday, February 15, 2001

    not that I have a problem with that. I like miata's too.
    go ahead tell me that the miata wasn't a blatant ripoff of this car
    There is something I have been meaning to post for the last two weeks. The commercial station that I listen to in toronto has one DJ in particular that has always been a special sort of geek. He has always been the guy who dug up the strangest stuff. Think popup video on lots of crystal meth. A few years back they actually gave him a show just for that stuff. It has been consistently good, sometimes awesome, but always at least good. He does hour long specials on hidden tracks, or three part history of bands like Joy Division. The last couple weeks he's been doing a series on electronic music.

    It started with the electric harpsichord in 1759 and ran through the Theremin, the Moog, to Kraftwerk. The next weeks installment picked up there and ran through the introduction of reliable drum machines and sequencers and Howard Jones as the first one-man-band top40 act, and ended with the introduction of the Synclavier. This coming week will cover from there to around 1995. Which means skinny puppy and ministry! I hope! So if there are any readers who will be in Toronto or WNY sunday at seven eastern the dial is 102.1 fm. They also broadcast on the net but the morons at the station have switched off real player to windows media, thus requiring linux types to dual boot if they want to hear it.

    While on this topic of 80's syth pop bands. Sometime in the early 90's I actually saw Howard Jones play at the El Mocambo with just a yamaha grand piano and accompanied on about half the song by a woman playing bongos. How did a man who can't stand synth pop wind up in that place?

    As many stories of this type often start out, "there was this Girl,". It's really amazing what we menfolk will do when we see a woman we love mistreated. It makes the picture of the salmon swiming upstream right into the grizzly's jaws almost make sense.

    For those of you who have not had the pleasure of seeing a show at the ElMo it's like this. The room is about thirty feet wide and about eighty feet deep. If they put the stage at one end of the room you'd feel like you were watching the performance in a tunnel. So they don't. The stage is right smack in the middle of the long north wall. Except for the bar proper there is no way to be more than 25 feet from the performer(s).

    It's just plain an incredible venue. In addition to a variety of personal things that I'm just not going to share here, I learned something that day:

    When you get rid of all the technology, sequencers, sythesizers, drum machines and stuff, Howard Jones is a much better musician than he appears.

    And not too shabby a songwriter either
    thanks(kind of) to Erratic (several months upgraded from nutjob) for sparking an all too vivid recollection.

    Sunday, February 11, 2001

    While driving to work today I heard the nonsurprising news that the genome isn't as big as we like to think it is.( I am pretty damn tired of of people saying we have cracked the genome!!!!!!! we mapped it and as any crypto geek know there is a LOT of work to be done) and the sub cracking open the japanese fishing trawler, and yoshiro mori not even quitting his game of golf, and sharon and barak preparing to start a war, and the most wonderful news came over the radio. and none of it, NONE OF IT MATTERED because the greatest live performance band in the world is on this side of the globe for the first time since I've been married. At Lee's Palace no less. now I have to arrange a few days off on fairly short notice.

    this is not a negotiable thing.
    they'll just have to understand that.

    Thursday, February 08, 2001

    In the old days there were places on USENET where you could post anonymously messages that you had encrypted to someone's public key. Then you saved all the posts as a txt file and decrypted all of it against your private key. Anything that decrypted sensibly was for you. Anything else you didn't want to know anyway. Because everyone was always taking everything and because of the very nature of USENETand because of the encryption. It was nearly impossible to establish a record of communication taking place let alone the contents of the communication.

    apparently bin laden's crew has been encrypting their communications and then stegging them into porn. Then they use some sort of free picpost to put it up. Can you imagine the feds having to track every visitor to the free pornsites?
    And this is the really brilliant part: bin laden now has a leqitimate excuse to hire photographers and models, view porn, and other things that would be frowned upon by nutjob religious extremists like the Taliban, or AG Ashcroft.

    Wednesday, February 07, 2001

    What would you do with with Both Arafat's and Gates' credit card numbers?

    tell me
    How the hell did I get lumped in with the new aquarians?

    then again how Jello Biafra and Rage Against theMachine get lumped in there too.

    maybe it's just the name that pissed me off.
    For Ev

    Free tips on the drug trade.

    1) find an ADDICTIVE product. Crack, Black tar heroin, Blogger, laundry detergent, whatever.

    2) give it away free for a little while

    3) establish a network of people to distribute for you. Dealers, web designers whatever.

    4) Allow your dealers( or webdesigners) to distribute the product to their "customers". even let them private label it. you don't care as long as you get your cut.

    5) Get filthy rich(think Medellin or Amway, you're at the top of the pyramid)

    6) At some point you will have to start worrying about your distribution network making the leap to major multinational status. tuck away early profits to help pay for this.

    7) Pray daily no one gives away the recipe (drug laundry detergent etc.) for free on the internet.

    8) Apply "unfair business" practices if they do (think Medellin, or Microsoft)



    And for crying out loud Dont skip steps 3,4 or 5. Us Addicts depend on your financial stability so we don't have to set up own private little crack factory.

    Ok roll back to a decade or so ago. Under a different name ( no I won't tell you and don't bother to ask) I was in school. I was spending a lot of time doing interesting things on a vax/vms. Eventually I had to give it up and in fact for the sake of marital bliss I gave up using computers altogether from '94 to '98. (yes I know it was a pretty stupid time to get out of computers and the internet. trust me still having my wife was easily worth it.) but this is '90 or '91 we're talking about And I hadn't even met my wife yet. fat lot of good my Vms knowledge does me know( except as I learn the finer points of unix stuff and the light goes on in my head "oh yeah!! except it was easier in vms") Most of my hacking was done from or through the Internet or BITNET. Anyway I got through those years clean and without having caused a major fuss. Not everybody did and some of them I knew ( at least to the extent you know anybody that you only know online).

    There are three books I would recommend to anyone interested in this time period and the hacking world. They are "the Cuckoo's Egg" by Cliff Stoll; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; and "Underground" by Suelette Dreyfus. The Sterling and Dreyfus books are also available for free online(Even in palm Formats!!!!)

    They are all true stories, bizarrely intertwined and I will attest to the feel and ambience as being spot on for all of the books.

    Tuesday, February 06, 2001

    you can consider this to translate roughly to

    "We just build them. It's your job to keep the police from abusing it."

    Saturday, February 03, 2001

    for those of you that are curious the diesel outboard link is here

    for a few hundred dollars more that a nasty two stroke you can get a diesel that weighs three times as much and puts out half the power AND has virtually no safety features of any sort. It can, however, apparently be repaired with nothing but a pair of locking pliers
    Yes I know it's old but damnit I just found it and I think it's funny. so there. thpbtht!

    Thursday, February 01, 2001

    Yesterday in a Scottish court on a US air base in the netherlands, a man was convicted of being able to commit a crime.
    At no point did they prove his guilt.
    They proved that he knew how, and they proved that he was a spook for libya, but in no way shape or form did they prove he did it.
    He may actually be guilty but that is really beside the point.
    They needed a conviction so the upset families could have some closure.
    They live in a country where they didn't have to prove guilt.


    Now ask me why I am scared.






    Do you have any idea how many things they could prove I know how to do? Is having knowledge criminal?




    I knew there was a reason my ancestors left Scotland.

    well that and the small matter of the horses.

    and canada seemed so much more attractive than australia at the time.

    till it got twenty below.

    and stayed that way for three months.
    Now here is something to lose sleep over.

    they confirmed Ashcroft. Brace yourselves.

    Fucking raytheon. Another big brother award for those bastards
    There are a couple posts that I dreamed up over the least few days that have vanished into the ether. nothing mindbending or spectactular just amusing. if i get up the ambition they had to do with diverse topics such as chinese diesel outboard motors and the wonders of visine. but other wise they are just gone don't lose sleep over it.

    Sunday, January 28, 2001

    If you folks out there could provide me with a quick mood check. the goal here is to kick them in the teath not the nuts. email me if I missed the mark.


    An Open letter to the members Lockport Board of Education



    I am aware that your legally mandated responsibilities include:

     Adopting policies for the operation of the school district
     Overseeing financial matters and developing an annual school budget
     Representing the views of the community in educational matters

    As a member of this community for most of my life I hope that you consider your responsibilities to also include the safety and well being of our children while they are on their way to, at, or on their way home from school.


    There are currently 2686 students in the district in K-5. Around 1800 of these children are bussed. The rest of the children are left to walk or find alternate means of transportation. Many of these children would have to walk alongside busy roads with no sidewalks and cross these roads at uncontrolled or poorly controlled intersections. I find this level of risk unacceptable for my children and know many other parents who agree. My and my wife’s contact with the Assistant Superintendent for Finance left us with the impression that he was prevented by law from doing anything to help these students.

    There are some students living on Robinson Road who are inside the arbitrary 1-mile limit and are still bussed. Other school districts in the county bus students who live in the arbitrary 1-mile limit. In my research into why this was different from the impression given me by the Assistant Superintendent for Finance I discovered several things:

     Section 3635 of New York Consolidated Law: Education requires school districts to provide transportation to all students in K-8 that live more than two miles from school.
     The same section also states that a district may choose to provide bussing to students who live within that two-mile limit if they do so equally for all students. This requirement has an exception however. If an area qualifies under 3635-b the district can bus children in that area without having to bus all other children.
     3635-b allows for the creation of a child safety zone based on part 191 of the commissioner of transportation’s regulations. These factors include: the existence of sidewalks, width of road, volume and average speed of traffic, the existence of traffic lights, et cetera.
     3635-b allows a board of education to undertake on its own to establish child safety zones where appropriate.
     It also requires the board to investigate such a zone if any parent can provide a petition that contains the geographical zone and the signatures of twenty-five qualified voters in the district, or five percent of the total number of voters in the last election whichever is greater.

    Considering the above facts I request that the board investigate the creation of a child safety zone to include all areas where children would be required to walk without sidewalks, across an intersection where there does not exist a traffic light with walking signals, or cross a railway without signals.





    Friday, January 26, 2001

    In just a few hours I will be going under the knife. Nothing serious at all. Just a minor deal. if all the post tests and timing work out it will be a valentine's present fo my beloved wife. The thing is I'm nervous. Not so much by the surgery itself, you take a kick there from a horse who just doesn't like the needle full of antibiotic and this kind of work doesn't seem too bad in comparison. Two quick snips under a local anesthetic. no problem.

    The problem comes in the imagination. For instance:

    What if every stupid person in the world were to suddenly die from their disease (stupidity can be a fatal disease). This could easily wipe out well over 90 per cent of the world's population. We simply wouldn't have enough people to maintain basic services like, say grocery stores and high speed internet connections. We would all be duty bound to continue to contribute non-stupid genes to the pool and I would be cut out of the giving process. This sort of wierd paranoia has led me to actually formulate a back up plan.

    you probably don't want to know what it is.

    but it's brilliant

    Wednesday, January 24, 2001

    A couple of quick things I want to talk about in much more detail than I have time.

    I have decided that I will actually be happy if Ashcroft is the AG. I know that sound's funny to some of you especially coming from me. So i'll briefly explain. The full force assault that that jack booted thug(who was so hated by his own state's people that they voted in a landslide election for a dead man over him) will place on so many of our basic freedoms is going to force a great deal of the people who have previously been working to cross purposes or just lollygagging around to close ranks, get on the bus and take up the fight against him.

    While nominally protecting our second ammendment( and I mean nominally as allowing non felons access to certain types of firearms does not in any way satisfy the intent of the second ammendment, which was to provide the citizens with a means to throw of the yoke of a government gon awry) , he will take as much of our first and fourth ammendments rights as we let him. And If the outright grab at them isn't enough to make all of us close ranks then maybe we don't deserve those rights.


    second of great interest but no time for detail I have just returned from slightly over a week at the toronto boat show. I was working for the International marketing arm of the company who has employed me for the last several years. It is a whole different deal there. No red roof inns there. I stayed at the top of the Shreaton Center and was treated to a view of toronto's city hall(which really does have that third world financed by the UN feel to it) and open air ice rink. I ate jerk chicken roti made by actual jamaicans. I ate sausage from the worldfamous vendor outside the even more world famous horseshoe tavern. I even ate an awesome jumbo from Mr. Pong's served to me by a very pierced girl in the now outdated marine unit T-Shirt.

    It is difficult to describe how much I love that town.

    Tuesday, January 23, 2001

    and the new semi private and carnivore resistant but far from Nsa proof address is :
    cumorglas@hushmail.com
    for the rest of you I have been ignoring for the last week and a half I am sorry and may get caught up soon
    minor bit of badnews folks. the email link I have been using for you kind readers who don't know me in meatspace biggreydog@kmfms.com has apparently been killed off. The folks at linuxstart who provided the mail have seen fit to discontinue the lifetime free email as promised. Not a real surprise. it was a bad business model. trying to get hardcore linux geeks to use web based email and then living of the ad revenue. oh well. will get another semi anonymous email real soon and update said page. in the meantime if you sent me email in the last few weeks I didn't exactly blow you off but the result is the same.

    Sunday, January 21, 2001

    Damn, damn, damn,damn!!!!!!!!!
    sorry for I was gone so long. I was off Toronto viewing what appeared to be the Capitol building of Lagos, Nigeria and doing some stuff for work. catch up with email tomorrow. details later

    Saturday, January 13, 2001

    I think what irritates me the most about the previous article is the extensive section training police types in "seizing or searching computers WITHOUT a warrant. I really don't want there to be a textbook teaching police how to circumvent the intent of the fourth ammendment. They made up that spiffy little bill of rights for a reason.



    To grant us rights.



    I am pretty sure it wasn't to allow public employees to peek through my email.
    The previous version of this document required an foia invocation to get a copy. now it's here for you to peruse.

    for those of you who were concerned what Reno did with her "jackbooted thugs" and those guidelines:

    Just wait till they belong to Ashcroft. You'll long for the good old days of reno

    Wednesday, January 10, 2001

    the last for today geek note is also from the meatspace version of wired. it seems that these folks have come up with a system that can teach kids with ADD to use a playstation tricked out with biofeedback to teach them to trick their brain into processing acetylcholine properly. In weeks, not years like the rest of us. I tell you this is a big deal. If any of you out there have kids with this type of problem look into it. I firmly solidly and emphatically believe that longterm daily drug dosage is not an good way to deal with this. it is important to have the drugs available for the days where you just can't get it together enough to make a sandwich but most of the time the unpleasant side effects of ADD can easily be controlled with practice and experience. The Major Benefit of this is that all the wonderful things that come with ADD are not obliterated like they are when you are on ritalin or dexedrine.

    The bummer is that very few shrinks are willing to write you the scrip for dex or ritalin as an occasional need drug. They still see it a a maintenance drug. Hopefully these types of tools will get some serious study and be accepted in medical journals and help lean doctors toward less drug intensive therapies.

    you try going to your local speed dealer and ordering Dex in ten mg capsules. he'll laugh his ass off.

    Tuesday, January 09, 2001

    next geek tidbit. Many moons ago I purchased my first copy of wired. it was not my last. It came printed on newsprint wir a lightweight glossy cover. even then the graphics were well,,,, glaring at best. But it was the content that got me hooked then. Yuo see there was this article Written by a guy named Steven Levy that changed my life. It was about Cryptography and it changed my life. He has just put out a book called simply enough Crypto. I don't have it yet. but I will (sister who gave me giftcert month's ago that I have yet to use. I didn't know it at the time but this is what it is going to go towards.) Levy even got a cover story for Newsweek.

    I beg of you if you don't rush out to buy the book then at least read the articles linked here. more than any technology of the last half century( with the possible exception of the Genome project and they will be intertwined) Crypto will affect your daily life. How and why and what affect is being determined right now. read this stuff and if you care even the tiniest bit get involved in those decisions. If you have questions about how to be involved email me.
    I was just watching the Palm keynote on Tech TV. and what catches my ear. My FAVORITE gps manufacturer has just licensed the palm os. That's right boys and girls Garmin (who incidentally is about to ipo) the fammed maker of gps units that A) work and B) are easy to use and C) are very hard to break is going to be making a palm. for a guy like me it is hard to describe to joy that comes to my heart in this announcement. it means the soon. I will be able to buy a palm that is waterproof, able to be dropped repeatedly from a meter onto concrete, always know where i am, and be able to give me a map of wherever I am in exsquisite detail. I am shaking even now in anticipation. I may just call up Gary Burrell up tomorrow and ask for a demo early.
    Ok kids there's a whole pile of geek based news and commentary. if this kind of things turns you off ignore the next several posts

    Thursday, January 04, 2001

    I'm not going to turn this into a daily update or sportfanloser site or anything like that. so here it is and you won't hear from me about it again till somebody wrecks or dies or wins.

    I'm rooting for Steve. Not just because he's an american. But because I actually like him. I think this latest mishap is a stern reminder to him of where he came from. When he was in Lakota CRUSHING all the pacific records he did it in a stripped out boat with used, recut sails. In that form he managed to shave nearly a week off the san francisco to tokyo record. Similar records fell one right after another. He did it on the proverbial shoestring. Sadly he had to put Lakota ( you all know her, at least you all know what she looks like. Kevin Costner had to save a little money on Waterworld so when he had the boats built for the movie he had Jeanneau pop them out of the same molds as Lakota and Primagaz. it saved him a couple million off a brand new design) up for sale to pay for the new boat. If you think that new boat came cheap well let me tell ya, All Sony paid for was the paint job. the way the contract reads though, he gets to bleed them a certain amount for each world record he sets. So, Steve, I wish you godspeed and lots of wind. May Stan and Bob guide you well and may each day bring new distance records (cuz i know just how in debt you are on this one. And some of it is to the people who sign my checks)

    oh and a note to sony TheRace game better be ready for ps2 before summer. It's ok if it's rigged so Playstation wins most of the time

    Tuesday, January 02, 2001

    A sport is where you risk death. Everything else is just little boys playing a game.

    Monday, January 01, 2001

    I have to do something about my oldest boy and school.

    This story actually begins with me in kindergarten. pissed and resentful. I'm not allowed to use the skinny crayons because I can't color inside the lines with the fat crayons. I can color just fine at home, where my parents never thought to give me the fucking stupid fat crayons.( note that at this point in my life I didn't actually use the words "fucking stupid" but that gives you some idea of the level of anger). I also read just fine at home where my parents let me read anything I can reach. not like the lame books here(see spot run. run spot run. get some new words spot you bore me to tears). I hate it. I hate being there, except I have a couple friends.

    Skip ahead a few grades. Copying out multiplication tables. I can do this in my head why do I have to copy it out? you have to copy it out so you can learn it. but i don't need to learn it I already know it. Well all the other kids have to do it so how would it look if you didn't. then don't make them either. but they have to it's how they learn. it's not how I learn. Too bad copy out the tables. (the beginning of the first serious Fuck You's from me.) I just started not doing it. refusing to participate in their crap. I sure as hell wasn't learning anything new.

    from this point until my senior year in high school it was one long waste of my time. Oh, they tried a little. tested me and put me into the gifted program. which only made me further ostracized and made me realize that to be a teacher of gifted children you don't actually have to be smart at all yourself. In jumior high I discovered a clause in the rules in the New york state Regents Exam rules. If you got over a 95 on the exam you got that grade for your year instead of the earned points from your actual schoolwork. You want to really piss off a teacher, spend a whole year ignoring their class, never turn in one piece of homework, then turn in the minimum required labs to get into the Exam on the last week of classes(many of them actually completed on time I just never bothered to turn them in.). yup do all that stuff and probably worse and then go get a 98 on the test and have that be the grade on your permanent record. Oh yeah that pisses them off.

    My senior year I actually took some classes that I was interested in. Mostly English classes. I learned Shakespeare in a way that I never had reading on my own. I took an art class for the first time since my third grade art teacher sent me to the office for an entire month when the evil bitch taught the rest of the kids because I had not completed the pinata in my assigned colors of yellow and brown on time. I didn't know she was an evil hateful bitch at the time, in fact I didn't realize she was so vile till that senior art history class and I learned more about the enjoyment and process of art than I imagined possible. My senior year I actually did learn a few things that I didn't already learn on my own. I learned about calculus, and I learned about high fashion in the 1400's.

    fast forward to a couple month's ago. I had a bit of a crisis in my life( I hated my job and it forced me to be away from my family) so I kinda quit (I didn't actually leave the company, I just stopped working for a while and they stopped paying me). To make the rent and such I went down to the local IBEW hall and picked up an unidentured cabler card and went to work pulling Fiber and cat5. I loved it. I had a job where I could go home at night after only eight hours and not bring any thought of the job. the job itself was working with my hands and at the end of the day you had something concrete you could point to and say you accomplished. It involved very little brainpower(the odd addition and subtraction problem, and a couple interesting spatial problems(How do I get this from here to there without exceeding 100 meters or penetrating any fire walls or running it too close to AC power or exceding 180 degrees of turn between pull) all in all slightly more difficult that the first ten levels of tetris). Unfortunately I was making just slightly less than I needed each month to cover our budget( and believe me we don't live high on the hog). Near the end of tis period My wife forced me to sit down and watch Good Will Hunting. Some thing I had successfully avoided until now. It was a bad move. I am not quite as smart as they made the character out to be. But I'm not too far off that mark either. So now I'm pissed off at where my life is. And not sure where I want to go with it.

    skip to the week before Christmas vacation. My oldest boy is in kindergarten. He is not doing his classwork. His teacher sent home examples. When asked why He tells his teacher "it's boring". I look at the work. It is boring. I look at the books he refuses to read. They make the see spot crap look exciting. They average one word per page and have no polysyllabic words. My five year old can actually use polysyllabic in a sentence correctly. The teacher gets his reading tested because She thinks he is just mouthing the words. He tests at a second grade sixth month vocabulary level. He tests at a third grade third month Comprehension level. Mouthing the words my ass. The teacher presents her solution. "I asked the librarian to let him get out books more appropriate for his reading level."

    This just doesn't cut it. I refuse to allow my child to have the complete lack of respect for education that I did. I have figure out some way to explain to the teacher(s) just how unacceptable this is without letting the RAGE I still have pent up from my own experience color the things I tell them. In New York State my child has a right to "an education appropriate to his needs". The law that comes from was actually meant to force local schools to provide or pay for education for mentally handicapped kids, but the language leaves room for interpretation. I don't really have the resources to home school him, and I am very concerned about him getting some social skills. lord know I didn't manage to get any.
    anyway this is one part of what I'm going through lately.