and then BLAMMO! a whole month wips past.
I'm cranky. REALLY CRANKY
It's hot it's been hot for like ever. I don't like the heat. Work is complicated. As near as a can I figure I'm canned but I can't get the guy to call me back and tell me for real. So I might not be. I might have to go back to managing the store.
which would actually be a good thing. I can un-fuck the place in a month or two and then get it back in the right direction and positive comps. but that will mean that I am not home schooling my eldest this year. which is probably ok, it's only first grade and he's already covered everything in that curriculum.
But some decent things have been going on. I've been able to go out sailing twice in the last two weeks. once on a friends dad's boat. I even got to dive on the prop and unsnarl the shaft. Once on some acquaintances cape dory 36. Among the biggest 36 footers going. I got to be on the helm most of the way and I am gaining some confidence with a wheel instead of a tiller.
On the way home from work saturday I was listening to the CBC station out of Toronto. They had some live show and and I started right at the beginning of what turned out to be Fred Eaglesmith singing a song called white rose. He's a bitter angry man who grew up farming in ontario. not unlike my ancestors. It rang clean to the bone for me. to the bone I am composing this listening to him now. Now I don't particularly like country. I've often been heard to say that all seven good country song were written by Hank Sr. and Johnny Cash and every other song after that was a lame imitation.
Fred Eaglesmith is not a Lame imitation
He's the genuine article.
It may be also that I am going through some wierd internal thing related to my family's Homestead. I haven't been there in years. too many years. My little sisters and my new brother-in-law are up near it right now, but they are staying at the hunting lodge down the road on account of the homestead needing some roofing work and glazing on the windows. in all, two or three days hard work for a determined person. It really should get done before winter(read September) but I just don't see how I can take the time away from my work (unless I actually do get canned and then I really won't be able to afford it,) and my familly to go up there to do the work. In my own head the place I became a man was up there and the place I learned just what that means was there. I've got my own issues with that to work out right now. I haven't been doing so well in the providing for my family part of being a man.
For those of you that are curious it's in a town called charlton. such a small town that you can't even get driving directions to it from yahoo. You have to get a map to Englehart and wing it from there. which is pretty much what happens as there aren't any roadsigns anyway.
